You already know the story. I was sitting on a park bench.  We were a month into Covid-19 and I hadn’t been out of my house except to sit on this park bench and to buy groceries. With the exception of my daughters, I hadn’t spent time with another soul.  I’d binged watched countless Netflix shows and wore a depression into my couch, where my sorry ass spent 8-10 hours a day.  It was getting old.

While sitting on the bench, I began thinking about my life and what was coming. In just 45-days I had to be out of my house. My kids were accepted into a full-time ski academy and I had to move to Vail.  As I was contemplating the upcoming move, the quarantine, what Vail would be like, etc. it occurred to me, there is no way I’m going to be stuck in a small mountain town, during a lockdown. There was just no way that was gonna happen.

Then it hit me.

Go to California!

As I thought about it, it became so clear. Starting in the fall, I was going to have my girls full-time. So, it would be a good thing for their mother to have extra time with them over the summer. I could work from anywhere as clients weren’t asking me to travel on-site. I could fly the kids out every couple of weeks and they would love the time at the beach. As I gave it more and more thought, it occurred to me, this was a no brainer. I’m going to Cali!

I got on Air BnB and started my search. As you could imagine, EVERYTHING was available. No one was booking a vacation but me. It was like buying a stock after a crash. The deals were amazing. I found a gorgeous 2-bedroom place right on the Strand in Manhattan Beach with and amazing view of the ocean and only one block from the pier.

Done, I booked it from May 20th to August 8th.

Within one month, I sold most of my furniture. I moved the things I wanted to keep to my home in Vail, booked all my kid’s trips out to see me, stored my truck at the Vail house, got my Jeep tuned up, and drove to Manhattan Beach, with my youngest in the passenger seat as co-pilot. We had a blast.

I then spent the next 3-months on the beach surfing, swimming, cruising in my Jeep, top-down, and having a blast. I met a whole new group of people, who will now be life long friends.  If you’re reading this OB, Linda, Pete, Ginger, Nicole,  Mandi, Eric, Craig, Taylor, Lance, Michael, Alison, Carl, and Beth, love you guys. Thanks for making my summer vacation so special.

The summer of 2020 in Manahattan Beach was one of the best summers ever. Who said 2020 was a shit show?

But wait, there’s more.

It was the last week of my lease on the beach and I had to leave but couldn’t go back to Vail until the 19th as I rented my Vail place for the summer. Therefore, I had an extra week to spare and was going to spend it on Cape Cod, when my buddy called and told me that because of Covid, no one was allowed on the island from out of state. Just like that I was homeless and I had nowhere to live for a week. My Vail place was rented. My summer lease was ending, where to go?

Enter Facebook.

While lying in bed 5 days before I had to leave a friend posted about a beautiful villa in St. Johns that just become available, because the renters backed out. She suggested that the owners were motivated and thought a deal could be had. I put in an offer and boom, just like that, I had a 12,000 square foot private villa on a cliff in the Virgin Islands.  It was absolutely gorgeous. Five days later, I’m sittinging in an infinity pool overlooking the gorgeous blue water of St. Johns.

So often I people say to me I want a life like yours. I can hear the envy in their voice. But more than that, I hear the subtle tones of victimhood and the belief that they have no control in their lives and it makes me sad.

You see, I’m not a billionaire. I can’t just fly around the world on a whim doing whatever I want, when I want, but I do have control of my life. And that’s my message in this post.

How much control do you feel you have in your life?

Are you living the life you want? Are you making decisions to live the life you want or are you telling yourself, you can’t do this, because. Or, you can’t do that because?  Have you literally put your life on hold, because of all kinds of perceived obstacles?

Whenever someone says to me, “Oh, I want you life.”

I say; “You can, what’s stopping you?”

Their answers are almost similiar. I have kids. I have my job. I can’t leave where I am. My spouse would never go for that. Etc.

Well I have kids. I figured it out. My ex wasn’t on board, but I figured it out. I have a company and clients, but I figured it out. For me, it’s not about my circumstance, but rather what I chose to prioritize and my refusal to see everything as either or.

When I was 21, I moved to Vail to be a ski bum. When I was 25, I got a scholarship to travel around the world, when everyone said, I could never get it. When I was 27, I moved to Miami Beach to model. When I was 30 I rented a boat for the Y2K millennia and spent 10 days at cruising the Bahamas. I’ve written two books. One, where no publisher would back me, and yet sold just under 40k books to date and counting. I’ve been to 33 countries and every continent except Antartica.

I share this not to brag, but to inspire. I didn’t grow up rich. Quite the contrary. What I did have was a crazy desire to experience as much of life as possible AND not accept artificial boundaries. Life sends us too many messages, telling us how we’re supposed to live, what’s acceptable and what’s not. And unfortunately, too many of us listen.

Stop listening.

Start living life on your terms. There are no rules. The kids won’t die if you take them out school for a semester and travel the world. Work will be there, if you take all your backed up vacation and hit the road. The house will survive if you spend the kitchen remodel money to spend the summer on Cape Cod or travel Europe or Asia.

Whatever it is you want to get out of life, go get it. Stop looking at others and say, “I want that life.”

You can have it, if you accept that you can and stop convincing yourself you’re different.

Don’t want other people’s lives, want yours.

You can do it peeps.